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[aggressiveapathy]

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[infomodder]

[April cannot divorce him for an actual dingo X(]

so
we'll see after we catch one
got it

[aggressiveapathy]

that's as far as i like to plan
just kidnap me when it's time to go

[infomodder]

yes your majesty
blindfolds and all

raina-ing on parades;

[infomodder]

[There is some pretty interesting conversation going on the Network, hot damn. Keeping in the vein of April being smarter than him and Will learning from her smarts, he waits a little while and then abruptly appears in the doorway. No big deal, really, nothing out of the normal here. He's in pajamas and carrying a big ass bowl of ice cream with two spoons sticking out of it, takes no time in plopping down right next to his wife, feet up just like usual. All without looking at her or saying anything, too invested in getting a good spoonful of ice cream.

He speaks with his mouth half-full after he's settled, the absolute heathen.]

She's never gonna get it. Or fess up to getting it, that would be more accurate. [That second spoon is sticking in April's direction for good reason.] Must be nice to live in a bubble where you never fuck up.

[aggressiveapathy]

Yeah. It's not really for her. Just any idiots that listen when her mouth opens and boobs shake.

[ So ice cream is lovely, but she will keep up with this stupid, pointless fight until she wins the only way she knows how: getting in the last word. ]

More like her sex kitten never fucks up. Ever.

[infomodder]

[The next spoonful of ice cream stops when sex kitten hits the air. Not for long, of course, because ice cream is delicious and Will Graham is an adult who knows full well adults in relationships get that booty, but sex kitten is just such a vivid mental image he needs a second to get rid of.]

She doesn't know her sex kitten as well as she thinks she does, if that's the case. Or she's full of shit. [He's not Offended by the idea that Raina knows Chilton better. He's much more Offended by the whole scientist comment, since it smacked of implying his wife was Too Uneducated To Understand. That's what ticked him off the most, what led to so much ice cream.] Or both. What do you reckon?

[aggressiveapathy]

Totally both.

[ She tilts her head a bit to the side, opening her mouth, to signal she's interested in being fed a bite. They are one in heart and soul, after all. Her longing for ice cream is entirely his responsibility. ]

She talks way too much about her perfect love. Over compensating.

[infomodder]

[The second spoon stays untouched; Will scoops up a hefty chunk on the one he's using and feeds her without a second's delay.]

If it was perfect, she wouldn't have to tell anyone it was perfect. [And that's another bite for Will.] We weren't ever like that, were we?

[aggressiveapathy]

Mm. I might've said we took over a small country or something. But. I don't love perfect.

[ Perfect. Gah, what a terrible, boring thing that would have to be. She leans over to kiss the corner of his mouth- and lick a little bit of ice cream that was trying to escape from there. ]

Messed up's better.

[infomodder]

[Terrible and boring indeed, unlike that kiss. Will smiles stupidly and dutifully scoops up another spoonful to feed her. Like she's starving and is resorting to eating off of him because he's so negligent in the proper care and keeping of the wild April Ludgate.]

You've got a lot more self-awareness than most people, babe. Can't expect anyone to realize the benefits of messed up when they refuse to realize their own mess. [It's his turn to lean over for a quick kiss.] What small country did you wanna take over?

[aggressiveapathy]

God, I don't even remember. Canada, maybe? Or Cyprus. C something. Take your pick. I've got magic luggage to help fight now.

['I'll fold your sheets is' finally a horrifying battle cry. Life really is good. Made extra so by that nice bite of ice cream.]

[infomodder]

[His first thought about taking his pick is Lithuania but haha no. Nope. Never sharing that one.]

I think that thing's got a crush on you. [He's perceptive, truly.] One day we'll wake up and it'll be there. At the foot of the bed. Staring with its...hole eye.

[aggressiveapathy]

It's been, like, a month since we adopted someone. Guess wonder trunk and his human pet work. But he's not cute grown up.

[ Lithuania can always be on the list, babe. Burn it in Hannibal's name. ]

[infomodder]

That's a perk! We can't start inviting people in who'd give Jeff a crisis over whether or not he's the most handsome Prince Charming in all the lands.

[Yes. It's about Jeff's ego and not the worry April will fall in love with them. One of these things is likely and the other doesn't even cross Will's mind as a legitimate worry.]

[aggressiveapathy]

Like that's even possible.

[ Oh, it was. Especially as she kept up her part time war with Jeff's hair products. ]

But you can send the formal invitation. If you want.

[infomodder]

I do. Want to. Keep thinking maybe he'll make the first move, but it hasn't happened yet.

[He rubs his eye with the heel of his hand, setting the bowl in his lap.]

Give it another week. If I haven't heard anything by then, yeah. I'll send it out.

[aggressiveapathy]

God, dating's a young persons game.

[Will finally gets his way, she puts the comm down to reach over and steal the ice cream. That second spoon stays clean as she picks up Will's to dig in with.]

Who calls first, ugh. Just get him some t-shirts and a card.

[ It worked for him getting her, after all. ]

[infomodder]

[He needs a few seconds for that to click in place, too busy entranced by this small victory...for his stomach, that is. If he ate all the ice cream on his own with April only having a few bites, his stomach would be an unhappy camper later on. When he does connect the dots, an eyebrow goes up.]

His Luggage might eat it. Then what? Back to calling first.

[It worked for getting her and that means he'll never use it on anyone else again.]

[aggressiveapathy]

[She sticks out an ice cream covered tongue, snuggling closer up.]

Old fashioned jerk.

[infomodder]

[Will's arm goes around her shoulders, doofy grin appearing in response to said ice cream covered tongue.]

I am. But I'm your old fashioned jerk. Evens out that way.

[aggressiveapathy]

[ Sigh. But it's a pure affectionate one. ]

But she got me thinking. We got a current enemy list, babe?

[infomodder]

[He takes a second to shovel more ice cream in his mouth because that gives him a reason not to answer immediately. He isn't sure, he needs a second to think...]

Nobody here I can think of. [Perhaps a less than amazing answer, but he can't think of anyone he'd consider an active threat, someone who truly couldn't be dealt with. Even if dealing with them meant pointing them elsewhere.] We got a couple nuisances who'd be better off Ported out for good, that's about it. Why, you think we got some enemies? Real enemies.

[aggressiveapathy]

Nah. Rain-maker was right. I don't make those. I like being alive.

[The ice cream is more or less dead to her as she shoves her nose into the crook of his neck.]

It's a good life. Just didn't know if you'd been window shopping.

[infomodder]

It is a good life. [His arm tightens, squeezing her gently. He casually sets the ice cream on the nearest table/night stand, fully expecting some raccoon to have been waiting for his chance to strike. Now is that chance.] So I've got no reason to window shop. Don't wanna. Everything I need is right here already.

[aggressiveapathy]

Just...you know. Remember to tell me. If you find a new psycho friend.

[Because, Raina had another point. If they were going to get murdered in their bed, it was probably thanks to the Baltimore half of the marriage. Everyone brought baggage into relationships, that was just Will's. All she could do was at least know.

But she snakes an arm up to twist lightly in his hair, lightly scratching. Everything they both needed was here.]