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[aggressiveapathy]

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[enigmaestro]

I'm sure I haven't woken you.

[aggressiveapathy]

Mm. I'm like Garfield, I guess. Powered by naps and sarcasm.

You're an adult.

[enigmaestro]

Apt observation. But even adults require nocturnal schemes, and that's what this is about.

I'm making a request.

[aggressiveapathy]

Is it hard?

[enigmaestro]

No, it's relatively easy. He'll have no idea.

[aggressiveapathy]

He'll.

[Okay, tiny unseen hopeful smile here.]

I'm not UPSing kidneys or something.

[enigmaestro]

Nothing so dire, I assure you. [A beat.] Eridan was released from Superjail a couple of days ago.

[aggressiveapathy]

Mmhm.

[enigmaestro]

I want you to spy on him for me, we'll consider it as an on-the-clock duty, but double the pay. A little touch of private investigation on a matter of urban security.

[aggressiveapathy]

You want me to creep on your ex-fish son.

[Beat]

Can I have a code name.

[enigmaestro]

It's a matter of urban security! He's practically confessed to me that he'll resume his homicidal habits, now that I've left our moirallegiance.

[An exhale. Way too much time spent defending his position.]

And -- ah, sure. How about Ahab, since he's so intent on being a Moby Dick?

[aggressiveapathy]

Mm. Hm. Good thing a total amateur is here to take the case.

[So much doubt. But whatever, Eddie. Your motivations aren't really an issue when she gets to play super spy.]

And cool. Call me Ishmael.

[enigmaestro]

Good. Wonderful, in fact. [The delight in his voice is rising on manic.] I'll be able to equipped you with any technological needs.

-- Any reasonable technological needs.

[aggressiveapathy]

[That is. Ugh. Damn it.]

...Eddie.

[enigmaestro]

This is an important mission, April, meant to be taken with gravity.

[aggressiveapathy]

You know joking is against my religion.

[Beat]

But it'll be okay. Like. All of it. In a general, life kind of way.

[enigmaestro]

I appreciate it. I do. Eridan has already, well, threatened to me of his vague intentions, I think this is a step all too necessary.

[aggressiveapathy]

Yeah. Well, I'm going and whatever. But.

Have you considered. I don't know. Asking him not to.

[enigmaestro]

Ishmael, you know, that's really the best way to ensure that he will in fact harm people in my name.

[aggressiveapathy]

Whatever. Just if you're chatting and everything anyway.

[enigmaestro]

I had to discuss his possession with him, it was merely a call of business. And only that!

[aggressiveapathy]

Yeah. So. Hearing people talk on the network isn't one of your powers, you know. Everyone can do it.

[enigmaestro]

[He waits a beat.] It was a private conversation.

[aggressiveapathy]

I don't understand what's happening here. At all. But whatever, catching up sounds difficult and being a spy is gonna be awesome, but...

[pause]

You don't have to give me a reason for why I'm doing this stuff, if you don't wanna. Just don't try the falsehoody ones instead. That's not okay with me.

[enigmaestro]

I'm not -- [WOW APRIL, WAY TO PUNCTURE HIS DENIAL] I'm not trying to lie to you.