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[aggressiveapathy]

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[enigmaestro]

It's a matter of urban security! He's practically confessed to me that he'll resume his homicidal habits, now that I've left our moirallegiance.

[An exhale. Way too much time spent defending his position.]

And -- ah, sure. How about Ahab, since he's so intent on being a Moby Dick?

[aggressiveapathy]

Mm. Hm. Good thing a total amateur is here to take the case.

[So much doubt. But whatever, Eddie. Your motivations aren't really an issue when she gets to play super spy.]

And cool. Call me Ishmael.

[enigmaestro]

Good. Wonderful, in fact. [The delight in his voice is rising on manic.] I'll be able to equipped you with any technological needs.

-- Any reasonable technological needs.

[aggressiveapathy]

[That is. Ugh. Damn it.]

...Eddie.

[enigmaestro]

This is an important mission, April, meant to be taken with gravity.

[aggressiveapathy]

You know joking is against my religion.

[Beat]

But it'll be okay. Like. All of it. In a general, life kind of way.

[enigmaestro]

I appreciate it. I do. Eridan has already, well, threatened to me of his vague intentions, I think this is a step all too necessary.

[aggressiveapathy]

Yeah. Well, I'm going and whatever. But.

Have you considered. I don't know. Asking him not to.

[enigmaestro]

Ishmael, you know, that's really the best way to ensure that he will in fact harm people in my name.

[aggressiveapathy]

Whatever. Just if you're chatting and everything anyway.

[enigmaestro]

I had to discuss his possession with him, it was merely a call of business. And only that!

[aggressiveapathy]

Yeah. So. Hearing people talk on the network isn't one of your powers, you know. Everyone can do it.

[enigmaestro]

[He waits a beat.] It was a private conversation.

[aggressiveapathy]

I don't understand what's happening here. At all. But whatever, catching up sounds difficult and being a spy is gonna be awesome, but...

[pause]

You don't have to give me a reason for why I'm doing this stuff, if you don't wanna. Just don't try the falsehoody ones instead. That's not okay with me.

[enigmaestro]

I'm not -- [WOW APRIL, WAY TO PUNCTURE HIS DENIAL] I'm not trying to lie to you.

[aggressiveapathy]

So. The only reason you want me to follow Eridan is to stop him from hurting other people.

[enigmaestro]

[UGGGGGGGHHHHH he thinks URGGGGHHHHHHHH]

... No.

[aggressiveapathy]

[This is what happens when you teach people. they go and learn.]

Okay. So. Do I get to know the whys, or should I just start blowing cash on my awesome spy outfit?

[enigmaestro]

Let's discuss this spy outfit instead.

[aggressiveapathy]

I thinking turtlenecks.

And like. Five bikinis.

[enigmaestro]

Have you been talking to Archer?

[aggressiveapathy]

Why. Has he been showing off his bikini?

[enigmaestro]

God, I hope not. I'll assume Bond instead.

[aggressiveapathy]

Mm. I am his reserve distraction girl.

...so maybe matching heels.

[enigmaestro]

This isn't a blank check, April.

[Beat...]

But if you're using your feminine wiles to secure his updated secrets, I'll allow the ensemble.