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[aggressiveapathy]

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[infomodder]

[No, not a thing. She'll excuse the ruffling of fabric as he shifts on the bed, won't she?]

Yep. The boys are outside picking flowers with the little ones, even. Rare to be this alone around here. Not sure I like it, honestly.

[So come home early?]

[aggressiveapathy]

[ Too easy, way too easy. Not when this has the promise of causing an amazingly awkward work moment. ]

Sometimes work takes us out of the house. But. You got the selfie part down already.

[infomodder]

[Marriage is a trap and April is now torturing him, that old fart was right.]

S'what happens when it's just you and your hand for years on end. [BADUM TISH.] Would you believe I haven't done this since the 90s? Is it still sexy to say booyah after?

[There is a reason he hasn't done this since the 90s and he just told her without realizing it.]

[aggressiveapathy]

Babe, nothing sexy has ever happened on a landline. Not since JFK died.

[ And never, ever say that word again. Ever. Never. ]

Did I mention I don't even need a bra in this dress.

[infomodder]

[Sudden urge to get on the topic of dead presidents, no why—good, there, perfect, she guides him back to the purpose of this phone call without missing a beat. Actual lighthouse beacon April Ludgate (-Graham).]

You did not. Less laundry for tomorrow. [Not having to do as many chores on Saturday and therefore being able to spend more time with April is sexy, right? Christ.] Why don't you have more of those dresses? I wouldn't mind if you never wore a bra again.

[or anything else lbr]

[aggressiveapathy]

If I never had them on it wouldn't be dirty talk. It'd just be...talk.

[ Not even pretending that's not what's going on, enjoy that Jeff. ]

Now. What're you doing...now.

[infomodder]

[Whether at home or work, Jeff cannot escape this.]

Thinkin' about you never wearing a bra again so all talk is dirty talk. [LOOPHOLE!!!] Especially with you at the food of the be—

[And he cuts off abruptly; April might figure out why that is, considering she's left with an earful of muted dog barking coming from just outside their window. Something is up levels of dog barking that could just as easily be warning off the terribly murderous mailman or doggie spats.]

[aggressiveapathy]

Being drooled on?

[ Romantic moment ruined by dog barking- and April snickering because of course it is. It would be weird if it wasn't. ]

If the house is being invaded, don't forget boxers.

[infomodder]

[She gets a noncommittal half grunt half hum, and the sounds of Will moving closer if the way the barking gets louder is anything to go by. Peeking out the window, and then...

They've found a large plastic bag. [Phone sex interrupted by dogs chasing a plastic bag, how does April handle this terrible life of hers!?] Typical. W...where we were again?

[aggressiveapathy]

Go save them, Will. Save them from themselves.

[infomodder]

You sure?

[Sure she doesn't want more terrible start-stop booyah phone sex interrupted by dogs? How could she pass that up, though?]

[aggressiveapathy]

I'll find you when I get home. Sans sun dress.

[infomodder]

[Pauuuuuuuse. What a delightful image.]

Can't wait. [She can probably hear the excited smile in his voice, the wretch.] I'll see you then.