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[aggressiveapathy]

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[aggressiveapathy]

we can just dip you in axe and poor life choices and call you a college kid
anyway

[doneproperly]

[Please. As if he doesn't already have enough poor life choices.]

"Dip me in axe?"

I believe this is an expression I have yet to come across.

[aggressiveapathy]

it's a rite of passage

[doneproperly]

It sounds somewhat unpleasant. You'll have to forgive me I give it a miss.

[aggressiveapathy]

this is why people think you're a sophomore

[doneproperly]

Alas. I shall have to persevere despite the difficulties.

[aggressiveapathy]

booo
but i want my first minion
before christmas
you know people are going to ask for like
a million loans
to buy their luxury sexy mrs. claus outfits for the holidays

[doneproperly]

We are not a loan service, April.

[aggressiveapathy]

not on the whole
but come on
that has to be at least like
half

[doneproperly]

No. That's not what Edgeworth founded this fund for.

[Mandrake isn't usually one to be fussed about moral quandaries, but ... this is different. It's Edgeworth's business. What if he came back? He has to run it with that in mind. Edgeworth was the one person here he actually respected, after all.]

[aggressiveapathy]

so it's just about lighting the money on fire

[doneproperly]

[If Edgeworth were here, he'd be able to make an impassioned speech about right and wrong and the importance of charity or something. Mandrake, however, holds no such views. He's just concerned with his public image and Edgeworth's good opinion. He sighs.]

... Look. You are getting paid either way, so why make more work for yourself?

[aggressiveapathy]

mm
so don't quit my day job

[doneproperly]

... You have a day job?

[He's genuinely surprised.]

[aggressiveapathy]

dude
i am the law

[doneproperly]

Meaning...?

[aggressiveapathy]

it's a riddle

[doneproperly]

Are you saying you work with the police?

[aggressiveapathy]

warmer

[doneproperly]

A judge?

[aggressiveapathy]

yes
that's it
i'm secretly saul

[doneproperly]

No. I meant-- you might have been working for one.

[aggressiveapathy]

i like my idea better
but i'm at the DA office
because this is just getting long

[doneproperly]

I would have gotten there eventually.

Nevertheless, that is good to know.

[aggressiveapathy]

let me know before you go on a crime spree
alibis are easier to plan beforehand