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[aggressiveapathy]

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[aggressiveapathy]

where are you

[textualhealing]

Are you going to hit me?

[aggressiveapathy]

no

[textualhealing]

Ok. I do not believe you. But I'm in my office in Heropa.
Please don't hit me in the face.

[aggressiveapathy]

[ You instincts are wise, Jeff. She is coming over.

To slap you in the face.]

[textualhealing]

[That is exactly where he said not to hit! And now he's sad forever. Or at least until his cheek stops being red.]

I deserved that. I think.

... Did I?

[aggressiveapathy]

Obviously.

[ She will be flopping on the seat across from him reserved for clients and roommates. ]

Man the fuck up.

[textualhealing]

[Cradling his cheek LIKE A MAN!]

I am! I'm totally manning up! I'm asking you what to do, right? That's addressing the issue. Sort of.

[aggressiveapathy]

You didn't tell me who it is.

[textualhealing]

Do I have to?

[aggressiveapathy]

If you're gonna date her, I'm gonna find out.

[textualhealing]

Okay, ugh. Point.

[Damn you, logic!]

Harley...? She came over at Christmas for a bit.

[aggressiveapathy]

And you really wanna go out with her? Like, whatever she says. You wanna?

[textualhealing]

I guess?! Why? Has she said anything about me?

[aggressiveapathy]

No reason.

[ She is pulling out her phone again and opening text. Decide quick, Jeff. ]

[textualhealing]

[Noooo. He leans forward just slightly like for a single second there he wanted to take the phone. Thankfully he doesn't even come close to doing so, he values his life too much.]

Ugh! Yeah. Fine. I guess! I wanna at least try, but I don't wanna scare her off.

[aggressiveapathy]

Do it now.

[textualhealing]

What? No!

[aggressiveapathy]

Or I will. I can't deal with you angsting. It makes sharkbait humping your dirty jeans just...depressing.

[textualhealing]

[The whiniest groan!]

Ugggggh. Fine. What if... I promise you I'll ask her like. In the next week?!

[aggressiveapathy]

You've got ten minutes. And remember: I'm scarier than you.

[textualhealing]

I know you are! That's why I entirely regret telling you this. Ten days! That's my final offer.

[aggressiveapathy]

Hours.

[textualhealing]

Nnngh. Seven days. Please. [Puppy eyes!] Please. I'll do all your chores for this week.

[aggressiveapathy]

[ There is a long pause. ]

Deal. But you keep doing them for a year if you wuss out.