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[aggressiveapathy]

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[aggressiveapathy]

they're all mine
everything in the house is

[infomodder]

including jeff?

[aggressiveapathy]

yes
he was a very nice present
a+ body pillow
but that doesn't fix this

[infomodder]

we'll fix it when i get back
i'm glad you two get along so well

[aggressiveapathy]

yeah
if you come back
and i'm not here
and neither are jeff's hair products
i want you to know he was the killer

[infomodder]

that won't happen
he knows you can kick his ass
he told me
you're safe

[aggressiveapathy]

i stand by the statement
but srsly
how hard is one crying old guy to find
hurry up
or me
and my kick ass
are going after fred

1/2

[infomodder]

he's a bit more than just a crying old guy
i'm learning
if you kicked fred's ass
maybe he'd let me come home

[infomodder]

just kidding

[aggressiveapathy]

there's only one way to be sure

[infomodder]

but not worth it
be the bigger person you know you are on the inside

[aggressiveapathy]

you are giving me more reasons to not listen to you
fyi
entertain me with more adventure stories
and maybe fred's hair can live another day

[infomodder]

i can tell you from experience that bears shit in the woods here just like they did back home
i'll also be coming back to you with a beard
haven't had time to shave
you might not recognize me

[aggressiveapathy]

i didn't know playing fetch
involved actually becoming a woodland creature

[infomodder]

if you want to actually play fetch right
have to get into 100%
no half assing
no shaving

[aggressiveapathy]

gross
you're getting the hose
before coming in the house

[infomodder]

gonna give me a bath in the back yard first?

[aggressiveapathy]

depends
how covered in outdoors the gifts and forks are
otherwise i'm sending grey to handle it

[infomodder]

they're fine i promise
i don't want grey to bathe me

[aggressiveapathy]

yeah
there's a lot of not wanting going around
i'll make him practice on digby first

[infomodder]

April.

[aggressiveapathy]

...
fine

[infomodder]

when a bearded, scraggly man in ratty clothes comes knocking at your window in a few days' time
and the knock is to the tune of shave and a haircut two bits
that's how you know it's me
okay?

[So she can let him in or make him break in and watch. Either or.]

[aggressiveapathy]

babe
you don't have to do the pattern
none of my other window men knock

[infomodder]

well pardon me for wanting to be polite