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[aggressiveapathy]

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[proteus]

Are you the one daddy kinking Will? Tell his decrepit ass to show up and bring pie for thanksgiving at his own fucking house

this is the best page topper

[aggressiveapathy]

yeah
he's like the fish murdering, shaggy father i never had
what else u gonna have?

[infomodder]

[Everything happens so much.

The conversation "he" had with Abigail was a hell of a thing to come back to, sure. But the one with April...

He's surprised Bubba Junior didn't mention the house was overrun with raccoons or something.]

Hi.
The last time you thought we talked, that wasn't me.
I didn't mean to miss Thanksgiving but I wasn't awake then.
Got sent back to Baltimore, you know.
I have proof?

[aggressiveapathy]

hm
when did you get back?

[doneproperly]

Edgeworth is back, by the way.

Younger, though.

[aggressiveapathy]

Hotter?

[Phone call, backdated to sometime in the last week of November]

[takethestairs]

[BRRRING BRRRING BRRRING]

R

[aggressiveapathy]

Mm?

[ Sorry, man. Her manners are never good at any time point. ]

Leaving a gift

[anthropophagite]

[ Kaneki doesn't really celebrate Christmas nor he is used to giving people presents, but in Japan there is Oseibu at the end of the year, when people give gifts to others who have helped them. So he decided (since he has heard so much about Christmas of late) to give something to his friends, acquaintances and people who have helped him. Also his (ex) roomates (since he left the house, but it's polite to give his roommates gifts ok ok).

Some time during 25th December to 2nd January, he will leave a small box with three cupcakes (sorry, he didn't taste any so he doesn't know if they are good) and attached to the box there is a green card that says "I hope you'll have a good new year." ]

12/26/2014

[infomodder]

[So Will's been pretty mum's the word about any Christmas presents for April. If asked, he'll say that he has something on order. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to come in time. If it's not here by the day after Christmas, he'll have to rethink who he orders from. Grumble grumble, people are so unreliable, grumble grumble, people. But other than that, he's pretty tight-lipped about whatever it is he's got in store for her.

He disappears pretty early morning of the day after, a note left that reads only have to travel to get your present got a notice they can't bring it to the house for some reason and that's that. At least until just after noon, whenever she'll find herself hunted down (is she at work? is she at home? doesn't matter, he's gotta find her) by some gruff, salty smelling guy who seems to have just gotten off a boat not long ago with a completely crammed envelope that probably would have been better off as a package, but alas.

Inside is a folder of pictures of another great white shark, this one a little smaller than the others, and a several page report on the day and how it went. The shark's name? April (♂). Will insisted it stay April, no Sir April, no Mister April, nothing, and that was the compromise. While the report, at first, might look official enough, she'll find that Will went through and added notes for her to get a better feeling of how everything went. Names of people who are not listed as GRAHAM are blotted out, naturally, but that doesn't stop Will from commenting on these blurred names. Specific mentions of anything that went less than pleasant have added commentary. A struck-out name (in marker, even, this is all very homemade) is followed by something along the lines of having a close encounter with the shark's jaws but making it out unscathed. Will underlines it, draws an arrow off to the side, and puts in we thought he had his hand bitten off for a second b/c of the yell. Talk about naming the shark ends up with mentions of GRAHAM being adamant that despite the male nature of the shark, he, too, was an April and that's just how it went. Another arrow and off to the side he's written see the video around 12 minute mark!

Because inside this package is also a DVD of the day, which is roughly 22 minutes long with very few shots of Will (who is apparently sitting this one out in the more hands on aspects if the footage is anything to go by), turned off and on instead of a continuous stream, and seems to be from multiple cameras that Will had to cobble together. Around 12:00 she'll find the yelling and the subsequent wave of panic as people do, in fact, come under the impression that someone has lost his hand to the shark. The camera pans around in as much panic as everyone and everything else, guy on all fours getting the hell away from April shark, wearing one of those black folds over his face, tail twitching. When it's realized that the yell comes from nothing more than a scare, a few peals of laughter break out and Will can be heard not far off saying, "I told you he was an April." There's a pause before someone else approaches the now completely, oddly still shark, hose in hand, and it seems to be fine for a few seconds. Until the shark just barely squirms, all it takes to have this next poor sod backing up in obvious nervousness, prompting another bout of laughter. Whoever Will's talking to ends up confessing, "Yeah, he's an April."

The footage continues, features close ups of April shark and mostly conversation about the process, why they're doing what they're doing as they're doing it, what data they might find, how he's not as big as the others but Goddamn is this son of a bitch keeping them on their toes. Nothing too out of the ordinary happens as it goes on, and eventually the shark is released back in the water to cheers, all of which involve the name April in some form or fashion.

The last picture in the folder is nothing more than a selfie of Will and the shark, Will bent over him with a hand on top of the black binding around the jaws to give her a good grasp of the scale of this one (apparently 11 feet is considered "little" but he sure as shit looks big enough). He's had to get what he could take in regards to this—there are a few other people in the picture as well, mostly focused on the task of tagging and keeping the shark wet, but one of them has photobombed it, making a face that looks like he's smelling something absolutely disgusting. It's gotta be on purpose. He's also giving a thumb's up.

On the back of that one is a written note:

bringing home take out pizza tacos AND dessert
should be back around 4 to celebrate the start of the ancient prophecy
dealing with paperwork about you being double the top predator first
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
- your dog fighting fish man]

[ooc. some video reference of shark catching, tagging, and release: 1 and 2]

12/25

[shuckit]

[ thomas doesn't actually remember many specifics about christianity, or if he even followed it prior to being with wicked, but he knows vaguely what christmas is and knows it's an excuse to give people you like stuff, so april will be getting the following mailed to her: a raccoon hat/hood thing except adult sized and he put a plastic kiddie crown on top of it. plus, a bottle of moonshine. ]

[kinesia]

[ On January 1, April will find a small basket with 3 hard-boiled eggs on her windowsill. They are white, still in their shells, and slightly warm. One says 'April'. The others say 'Will' and 'Abigail'.

Happy new year! ]

1/27; afternoon

[lurings]

[ she's literally texting from the room that will stuck her in during chilton's bout of insanity because she gave herself the day off because she can do that UR NOT THE BOSS OF ME WILL GRAHAM. ]

Okay, so if the raccoons are basically sentient and they bring me a drink is that pretty much slavery or are they just being really nice?

Re: 1/27; afternoon

[aggressiveapathy]

disney lied
if that's the question
they have a choice to do bidding or just eat and sleep
and they play total favorites
i give them intelligence
but some of them only listen to other people
unfair. i know

apologies

[infomodder]

do you observe valentine's day

[~romance~]

[aggressiveapathy]

no charity auctions

[but yes ]

you know when 1/???

[infomodder]

are you crashing somewhere else for the night?

[infomodder]

i don't mind if you do i'd just like to know

04.06.2015

[enigmaestro]

Call me back. We need to discuss something.

text

[aggressiveapathy]

i'm free now

[ So he can call her again. Because as much as she wanted him to call, that doesn't mean he's free of getting some petty thrown his way. ]

[infomodder]

do you want a gym membership
while i'm here
discount if you do

[He was totally not bothered by that whole shirtless Jeff thing. No way.]

[aggressiveapathy]

is that code for something?

[like Get Your Meth monthly club?]

or did someone get murdered on a treadmill?

voice mail.

[unhidden]

( The message is just being blasted.

bro

love u bro )

text

[aggressiveapathy]

tell me the gnomes made you do it

text;

[ferrisbuellean]

Ok real talk; when are you coming to the gym to see sweaty grunting men?

[aggressiveapathy]

when the world burns

[sizetwelve]

Now I need the feelings help.
By which I mean help forgetting about feelings.

[aggressiveapathy]

bring something they love
i can start the fire

[infomodder]

something's happening next week
do you want to celebrate
go out or
invite a few people over or
file with aarp
did you have anything in mind?

[aggressiveapathy]

i dunno
surprise me

Text

[viced]

[ This is waiting for April when she gets back. ]

What the fuck?

[aggressiveapathy]

the office kitchen was like that when i got here

text | backdated 5/19

[corviform]

Congratulations.

[aggressiveapathy]

no present?

[heavyhitter]

snt there anywherein vegas that will put ice cream on a bagle for methis si bullshit

[aggressiveapathy]

?!@
the blood of the american dream
is on their hands

[infomodder]

[It's late Sunday evening when Will finally decides to stop being a jackass about all this. After making sure all the doors and windows are locked, the lights are off, and doing his self-appointed nightly rounds, he strips down to the usual undershirt and boxers for bed and climbs in with the look of a man who knows he isn't going to get any sleep tonight but appreciates that their mattress is comfortable. It's always nicer to not sleep somewhere that doesn't actively make Will feel like he'd be better off laying on the floor or sitting in a cramped corner for how uncomfortable it is.]

We need to. Talk.

[Not the most beloved of phrases among the married, but Will's staring at the ceiling while he lies in their shared bed and clearly has no intention of getting up. She can probably assume it's Baltimore-related instead of, say, he went home with someone who wasn't April and does she want to set him on fire now or later.]

[aggressiveapathy]

Okay...

[Oh good. Talking. It was...a mixed benefit of marriage. On the one hand, someone else's problems. She had made a habit of not having those in her life for a very long time. But it was, weirdly (weird to the point past April would never believe future April if she pulled up in her delorean) nice. Not good, not fun. But nice. In the way that being part of something more than just your own stupid life was nice. Having more than yourself. That was nice.

So. Despite giving him a wary glance, April still crawls into bed next to him in underwear alone. Even goes so far as to kiss his shoulder then curl up next to him, head on chest and blankets stubbornly tugged up and over her shoulders. No matter the 'nice,' talking was still easier when they could both maintain steady eye contact with the wall and ceiling. And she could hear any mostly suppressed sighs from her position just over his lungs.]

Talk.

NOTE + PACKAGE

[khajidont]

So you don't really know me but I know Will and he told me you guys got married like a month ago?

Anyway I wanted to get you guys a wedding present but when I asked what you liked he said animals and art made out of garbage and I wasn't really sure if he was joking or not but that's what I got you anyway so if you don't like it I'm totally comfortable blaming him.

Congratulations on being married!

-Jaime

PS if you don't actually like art garbage you can throw it out. The dude who makes them looked like there might be something living in his beard but his stuff looked pretty cool

[And in the package: A doll from Ratatouille, which is legit, and something that bears a vague approximation of these garbage sculptures, albeit a little more badly put together, and using clunkier trash, which is a great deal less legit because he did in fact purchase it from a man at a rickety stall who looked like he had things living in his facial hair. Ah, artists.

Congratulations on being married, April. You now have weird presents from some kid you don't really know. Win-win.]

7/4

[theminotaur]

There is a party in the park? The raccoons like cake. You should bring Digby to cause a distraction and steal the Declaration of Independence.

I mean cake.

[aggressiveapathy]

but i don't wanna solve the trail of intricate clues
yet
cake?

[infomodder]

your hair has been amazing this month
do you trust me?

[aggressiveapathy]

...
did you find a magic murder carpet?

Text

[takethestairs]

Where's your husband?

[aggressiveapathy]

new number
who dis